What Do Men Really Want? The Answer

If you are like many women, you must be finding it really hard to figure out what men really want and look for in a woman. If you act "non-sexually" they say you are sexually repressed and boring and if you act "sexual" you are "easy" and called a slut: "WHAT DO THEY WANT US TO DO?"

Before we go male-bashing, let's look at ourselves. On some level we women know that if you “dress to get laid", men will always react to you just as a sex object. We also know that approaching men in this way is a sad (even potentially dangerous) substitute for forming an actual connection with someone worth the while, but on another level, many of us see this as the only way to attract men these days.

Why do we act like giddy sexually insecure adolescents?

One, because we have been told over and over that every man is a slave to his hormones. And if a woman wants to have control over men, she must control them by using sex as her weapon. But as many of us are realizing, there is a rude awakening to this jaded thinking. After the sex and the hormones are appeased, and if there isn't nothing else that a man admires and is attracted to in you, you’re nothing but another piece of meat that's easily replaceable.

The second reason why many women feel that to attract men they must act pretentiously brazen with their sexuality is that many of us have been raised with the notion that a woman is either “saintly" or “sexually promiscuous": where “saintly" means she does not want sex, does not show any interest in sex and will passively have sex out of obligation to her man, and “sexually promiscuous" means she wants sex, enjoys sex and initiates or seeks sex. Both sexes reinforce this idea and sadly, we see this in many aspects of our society. Not just in the teachings of different religions or in the sex/dance/strip industry, but in the entertainment, modeling, and fashion industries.

In my position as a Dating /Sexual confidence Coach, I am advantaged in that I am privy to the very personal thoughts of many men and women, and get to talk to all kinds of men: class, race, age, cultures etc. who are not just looking for a one-night stand but looking to fall in love. When I pose the question of "What do you find sexy in a woman?" they all seem say they want and look for the same thing in women:

“It really comes down to how a woman carries sexiness; her brains and energy, and how comfortable she is in her body". “What a woman wears defines who she is, but I’ve also seen the tiniest amount of clothing carried with so much class it could only fall into "sexy"

“These days women tend to have the same look. Too much make-up with too much boobs and leg. There is a lot of sexual baggage around that. I wish more women would behave with respect for themselves".